Monday Memories: And The Wind Blows

Many years ago I moved around a lot. I thought of myself as helping here and there as needed, but not staying too long in one place. I definitely didn’t let moss grow beneath my feet. I was justified Biblically, too: “The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” John 3:8. Perhaps my interpretation just satisfied my desire to travel, to wander. Those travels did allow me to serve GOD through a number of churches in the States as well as in a number of countries. I met wonderful people. I might have even been of some value to them. Some folks, with whom I connected in special ways, I stayed in contact with for a time. Eventually, however, I lost that connection.

Eventually, after wonderful experiences in West Africa, and getting married while there, I settled down somewhat. I say somewhat, as the itch to roam got to me in 2006. I went went over-the-road with Arrow Trucking out of Tulsa, OK. My Biblical justification is found in Luke 14:23: “Go out to the highways and hedges and compel people to come in, that my house may be filled.”

After leaving Arrow Trucking, I focused on raising two children, siblings adopted from overseas. While we attended a large church I got totally lost in the anonymity of it. I didn’t connect with anyone. I stayed somewhat obscure, aloof, writing devotional pieces for a ministry, eventually starting this blog. I made no real connections with people; I made no friends. Many acquaintances came and went, but no friends. I sloughed it off as to my being a loner, generally. I never really learned why this had happened. Until last year.

On March 5^th2022, an anonymous comment posted to JonahzSong, provoked me to look hard at my life and my connections with people. The writer didn’t understand how I could call myself Wil, that that wasn’t my name. The writer said my middle name began with an “M.” The writer went on to say some vulgar, and physically impossible, things that I should do to myself. Eventually the writer acknowledged maybe my middle name is William, Wil for short. The writer said, “But how would I know, I was abandoned and forgotten.” It upset me, to say the least. I tried to find the person by tracing the ip address, as no email address was left in the comment. I wasn’t able find the person. I wondered if the person might have been mistaken. Yet it nagged at me. I wonder now if that commenter drops by once and awhile to see if there might be an acknowledgement of some sort. Not that it makes up for anything if I were able to say to the person that I am sorry. If I offended him or her, I regret it. I regret all offenses to anyone, especially to people who’d thought of me as their friend.

This past year I’ve given a lot of thought to the accusation of abandoning and forgetting people. I’ve not forgotten anyone; they’ve been often in my thoughts and prayers. At least I don’t think so. I’ve certainly lost track of most of those I’ve known, and have only a brief contact with others. On occasion, I’ve felt compelled to earnestly pray for a particular person, throughout the day, for multiple days even. I’ve often searched the internet for news of friends. I’ve felt the joy of seeing a news clipping, or articles in ministry newsletters. Yet I didn’t reach out to those I’d found. I didn’t know what to say after such a long a time. I’ve also felt the sadness when finding an obituary.

I’ve met a lot of people here and there in the course of my wanderings. I remember the names of many. Some I can picture in my mind’s eye, at least how they once appeared. Some are in photographs that I’ve taken. None are forgotten. There are a few people with whom I was close. We went different directions, parting on good terms, and for some, for a time, staying in touch. I’ve held hope that one day we’d reconnect, though mostly I didn’t try to do so.

There is one person with whom I was very close. We knew we were heading in different directions, though we thought it would only be for a short time. Just two people blown in the wind—sort of. Just before I was leaving we had a disagreement. I became angry. I left without saying good bye. I didn’t look back, either. She would not have been the person who commented on JonahzSong; she knew me as Wil. I was foolish. And, yes, I abandoned her. Some years later, my Dad forwarded me a letter she’d mailed to me in care of him. It was a nice note, though she didn’t understand my not at least saying good bye.

Paul wrote to the Ephesians to put off their old selves and “put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” Eph. 4:25-27. I failed to put aside my flesh. I failed to speak to her about my anger. I failed to provide an opportunity to be reconciled with her. I held the anger too close, too long. I walked away in abandonment. She didn’t deserve that. In the scheme of things, the disagreement was a foolish one, and I was in the wrong with no right to be angry. I can think of many excuses, but none excuses bad behavior, my bad behavior.

Pauls writings to GOD’s people are only a small part of GOD’s instructions to all humanity. There are so many lessons to learn within the Bible, if one pays attention. Learning them the hard way causes pain, to others, to me. I can’t make up for any of my sins against GOD or against His creation. What I can do, however, is offer a warning to folks to take great care in their connections with people. Be angry. Be honest. Settle it before the sun sets. Settle it before it’s too late.

May GOD watch over you
throughout the days of your life
in all the seasons of your life

LORD Bless, Keep, Shine. . .

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Faceless

These verses are from Psalm 57, and also appear as the first two in Psalm 108 with only one use of steadfast.

Steadfast is also translated as Fixed. One commentator suggests the psalmist was wavering and declares that his heart is now settled, and fixed.

The idea comes through that the psalmist’s heart is fully resolved to trust in G-D. To demonstrate this conviction, the psalmist declares he will sing and chant praises. He will challenge the day. Continue reading “Faceless” →

Some New Thing

Recently, in a devotional, Pastor Cornelius Fon in Cameroon wrote:

“Then they that gladly received his word were baptized: and the same day there were added unto them about three thousand souls. And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers. And fear came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were done by the apostles. And all that believed were together, and had all things common; And sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need. And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart, Praising God, and having favour with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved. (Act 2:41-47 KJV)

“Oh God have mercy upon us the preachers who have turn Your church to something that even You can not recognize. How we have gone very very far from the Church that You ordained. Materialism, egotism, selfish tendencies, worldliness, compromise, and what can I add or leave out… The Church a Body of Love has been transformed to something else. No doubt no power in the church today until preacher go to the devil for powers to do the work of God. What a shame and an insult to You, Most High. Have mercy O God, let your cleansing broom sweep pass making obvious all who are truly Yours and the hirelings. Heavenly Father, we need a renewal and revival in the lives of the preachers so that church now can be The Church.

“Please, fellow preachers and saints of God, we all need to mourn and wail for the misrepresentation we are doing. You in particular may not be involved but search deep in your heart, what have you done about those doing it. Have you cried out like Elijah? We need to mourn for the present day church, repent and allow Jesus to be Lord over His Church. We have to preach against sin, preach holiness and righteousness, preach the grace, in fact we have to preach the Kingdom of God and nothing else. May God help us to be God pleasers and not man pleasers.”

Pastor Cornelius’s devotional brings to mind what I was told of the origins of Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa, California. Pastor Chuck Smith pastored a Four Square Church in the 1960s. The Church’s district office was running a campaign to increase Church membership, to fill the pews, so to speak. Sounds all to familiar, doesn’t it. Now this bothered Pastor Smith, and he sought the Lord Y’shuaJesus about it. He was directed to this same scripture, Act 2:41-47, Pastor Cornelius has directed us to. Particularly, Pastor Smith read verse 47:

And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved.

Acts 2:47

Well, Pastor Smith believe G-d, and his small church began to swell to the point that the denomination’s office noticed and questioned him. I understand the office was not pleased to hear from Pastor Smith that he didn’t do anything, just trusted that G-d’s word was as good then as it is now. Insubordination for some such heresy. Pastor Smith left the denomination not long afterward.

Now, as then, when the people of G-d begin to trust in the Word of the Lord, things happen, and resistance is met.

Reading Pastor Cornelius’s devotion also brought to mind this passage from Acts:

For all the Athenians and strangers which were there spent their time in nothing else, but either to tell, or to hear, some new thing.

Acts 17:21

It seems always the same. People want to be entertained. In the Church Realm these days, people move from church to church looking for better worship, more “meaningful” preaching, and, yes, something they haven’t heard before, some new thing. We have “Big Box” churches in America gather in seekers to have their ears tickled. Too many of these churches have long, elaborate worship services and never once mention the Name of Jesus. The preaching tells us more about how we can feel good about ourselves than how we must feel about our relationship with Messiah, like that we ought REPENT while we have the opportunity! We need to hear how we can grow and live as Messiah in our modern world, not how we can transform our modern world into our corrupt, fallen image of what it should be.

No longer do I wonder why most Americans don’t seek to be saved; they’ve learned they don’t need salvation, that they’re perfect, god-like already. The only thing I wonder at is why we would bother trying to evangelize a stiff-necked, fallen people living in cities saying they’re building a better world, building a “Purpose Filled” P.E.A.C.E. The city dwellers are like the people of Sodom in the days of Abraham and Lot. It doesn’t surprise me at all that so many American’s are fleeing to what is now known as the “Redoubt” states, comprised of Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, and a few more. They are fleeing the coming wrath that will be poured out upon all flesh for arrogance in the face of the Almighty G-d. If not for the few, humble servants of the Lord, who live as strangers among the heathen, this wrath would surely have already come upon the Earth.

May the Lord rightly bless His People.

Remodeling Flaws

Among the projects this week is remodeling a pantry. It’s not too large, and had metal closet shelving installed along two walls. First, I tore out the shelving, then removed the hardware. Next, I filled all the large holes that were left when the hardware was removed. There were a lot of holes, too. I got by with two coats of drywall/sheetrock compound (mud) one each hole. The first coat filled the holes, the second blended the area in with the wall. After one coat of primer it looks pretty good. There are a few places that could have been sanded smoother, but, hey, it doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s just a pantry after all.

There is an new hardwood floor in that pantry. While painting, as I cut along the base board, I could see small imperfections in the joints of the boards and in the new shoe molding. I could feel, too, some nail heads that weren’t put in all the way. Most of the flaws were beneath where the old shelves had been. Hidden. I’m sure the hardwood floor installer said the same thing as me. “It’s just a pantry.” And even with all the shelves out, the walls repainted, any flaws are hard to see until I get right down on my knees, and look real hard. Basically, walking into the pantry things look great, floor and walls. There’s one flaw, however, that will need to be repaired. It’s a tiny sliver of flooring protruding upward. It’s likely to be caught on a dust mop, and the splinter will come off. It still won’t be too noticeable, but will leave a small gap that will trap dirt. Eventually, left untreated, it could trap moisture, which will cause issues to the surrounding wood. A spot of glue will take care of it. Like the saying goes, “A stitch in time saves nine.”

Spiritual Lessons Abound. So I’m thinking about what David said to the Lord:

Examine me, O LORD, and try me; Test my mind and my heart.

Psalm 26:2

First of all, David has guts. He’s basically saying, “Get down on your knees and look real close!” I feel reluctant to echo David’s prayer. There are too many things I’m aware of, so there must be lots of hidden flaws. Yet if I’m willing to say, like King David, “Examine me, O LORD. . .” here’s what I think will happen. The Lord will find the flaw that will cause me trouble if left without repair. The Lord will bring it to my attention. From there

I can confess it and accept His forgiveness for it. And then He’ll glue me back together. Hopefully metaphorically.

Lord Bless, Keep, Shine. . .

Yom Kippur

If you were to enter a synagogue today, Chabad.org has a guide to what to expect. It includes: “You may also notice that many people are wearing white clothing, and some are even wearing a white robe called a kittel. This is because on Yom Kippur we are likened to angels. The angels do not eat, and neither do we. The angels devote themselves to praising G‑d, and so do we. The shroud-like kittel also reminds us that all life on earth comes to an end.”

Yom Kippur is the Day of Atonement. It’s history and significance is as follows (also from chabad.org):

“Forty days after they received the Torah at Mount Sinai and committed to be G‑d’s chosen people, the Children of Israel worshipped a Golden Calf. Moses pleaded with G‑d not to destroy His errant nation, and on the tenth of Tishrei G‑d said, “I have forgiven.” Ever since, we observe this date as the “Day of Atonement”—a celebration of our indestructible relationship with G‑d. It is the holiest day of the year, when we reconnect with our very essence, which remains faithful to G‑d regardless of our behavior.

“Yom Kippur is a fast day: from sundown on the eve of Yom Kippur until the following nightfall, we do not eat or drink. We also abstain from certain physical pleasures: wearing leather footwear, bathing or washing, applying lotions or creams, and marital relations. It is also a “day of rest,” on which all work is forbidden (as on Shabbat).

“The greater part of the day in the synagogue we engage in repentance and prayer. There are five prayer services: 1) The evening prayers, which begin with the solemn Kol Nidrei. 2) Morning prayer. 3) Musaf, which includes a description of the Yom Kippur Holy Temple service. 4) Afternoon prayer, during which the Book of Jonah is read. 5) Ne’ilah, recited as the day wanes and the verdict for the new year is sealed. The first four prayers include a (private) confession of sins to G‑d. Ne’ilah concludes with the congregation calling out the Shema in unison, and then a blast of the shofar signals the end of the day.

“Yom Kippur is followed by a festive meal. We rejoice, confident that G‑d has forgiven our sins.”

The author of the “New Testament” letter to the Hebrews wrote about the yearly sacrifice offered at the Temple to atone for the sins of the People of G-d.

For since the law has but a shadow of the good things to come instead of the true form of these realities, it can never, by the same sacrifices that are continually offered every year, make perfect those who draw near. Otherwise, would they not have ceased to be offered, since the worshipers, having once been cleansed, would no longer have any consciousness of sins? But in these sacrifices there is a reminder of sins every year. For it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins. Consequently, when Christ came into the world, he said, “Sacrifices and offerings you have not desired, but a body have you prepared for me; in burnt offerings and sin offerings you have taken no pleasure. Then I said, ‘Behold, I have come to do your will, O God, as it is written of me in the scroll of the book.'” When he said above, “You have neither desired nor taken pleasure in sacrifices and offerings and burnt offerings and sin offerings” (these are offered according to the law), then he added, “Behold, I have come to do your will.” He does away with the first in order to establish the second. And by that will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.

And every priest stands daily at his service, offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God, waiting from that time until his enemies should be made a footstool for his feet. For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified. And the Holy Spirit also bears witness to us; for after saying, “This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my laws on their hearts, and write them on their minds,” then he adds, “I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more.” Where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer any offering for sin. Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.

Hebrews 10:1-22

Lord Bless, Keep, Shine. . .

“Sometimes sorry isn’t enough,”. . .

. . . is a phrase I’ve heard people say. As we approach Yom Kippur, or the Day of Attonement, I think more about repentance. If I’ve wronged someone, I say to the person “I’m sorry.” If I said to you that I’m sorry, would you reply, “Sorry isn’t enough”? No, I don’t think so. I think, as we grew up, we learned to say “I’m sorry” from parents and teachers, and to accept “I’m sorry” as enough. Before my kids were in school, they attended a “learning center” that functioned as both a preschool and a day care. It was expected that if one child wronged another, the children would make up with “I’m sorry.” Somehow that was all that was needed. Sorry was enough.

Last week I cited Job’s “repent in dust and ashes.” In this citation, according to my Hebrew-Greek Key Word Study Bible, the Hebrew word used as repent is Nacham. It means to draw the breath forcibly, to pant, to grieve, to feel repentance. The idea of breathing deeply was a physical display of one’s feeling, usually sorrow, but also compassion and comfort. In Job’s case, it seems that he grieved for his flawed understanding, and looking toward G-d, accepting G-d’s supremacy in all things.

My study Bible also states that, usually, when it is man repenting, the word used is a verb, shuwb, that entails “to turn” from sin to G-d. There is an action involved. At BibleStudyTools.com, in a definition of repentance, it states: “Two requisites of repentance included in sub are “to turn from evil, and to turn to the good.” Most critical theologically is the idea of returning to God, or turning away from evil. If one turns away from God, apostasy is indicated.” This turning “goes beyond sorrow and contrition.

So perhaps saying “Sorry” isn’t enough. Billy Graham put it this way, “Repentance begins with admitting your sin and agreeing with God about it. [emphasis added]

Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

Psalm 51:4

Sin against G-d creates a rift. “True sorrow then can cause you to turn from any specific sinful act and to pray for God’s help in resisting temptation,” says Billy Graham. “When you repent, [your] relationship with God is restored.”

True sorrow has an element of compassion, which is mentioned as a meaning in the definition of Nachem. We understand our own misdeeds from the perspective of the person on the receiving end. When we say “I’m sorry,” it must come not only from being sorry for ourselves, but from what we’ve done to others, how our actions affected them. Especially, this is true for the rift we create in shutting out our Creator, our Lord and G-d. For G-d, Who created us, wants to walk with us. In a very real sense, G-d desires with us what He had with Adam in the Garden before “The Fall.” It is to this end:

that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

John 3:16

Lord Bless, Keep, Shine. . .

Self-Loathing

Perhaps he sat in a fire pit, which during the night provided heat and now was cool as the sun began to bake the desert around him. He says to G-d, I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” I am reminded of a phrase from the Anglican burial service, referring to total finality of life, “Ashes to ashes; dust to dust,” which is based upon scriptures “Dust thou art, and unto dust thou shalt return” (Genesis 3:19), and “I will bring thee to ashes upon the earth in the sight of all them that behold thee” (Ezekiel 28:18). Perhaps Job felt he was so totally wrong in his actions that it was time to die. At one point Job’s wife had told him to just end his own physical suffering by cursing G-d and dying. He did not do so. In his self-righteousness, he continued on. Now Job is ready to accept his fate, understanding his sin of presuming to know G-d, of presuming to be righteous on his own accord.

Then Job answered the LORD, and said, I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee. Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not. Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me. I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.

Job 42:1-6 (emphasis added)

Repent. This the Jewish season for repentance. If we follow Job’s example we loath ourselves and repent. If we truly loath ourselves, we will see ourselves as unworthy of saving. In the view of the world, we will have low self-esteem. However, as Job came to understand, we must see ourselves as G-d sees and loath the un-naturalness that is within us. Calvary Chapel’s statement of belief (point number eight) puts it this way: “We believe that all people are sinners by nature and, therefore, are under condemnation; that God regenerates based upon faith by the Holy Spirit, those who repent of their sins and confess Jesus Christ as Lord. (Acts 8:15-17; Titus 3:5)” So it isn’t that we loath the self that G-d created, but the sin nature that is within it. We loath and repent of what we have done, the things we’ve left undone. Sins of commission. Sins of omission.

G-d loves the person that He created us to be. If we want to be that person, we must turn from the person our sin nature wants us to be. We cannot have salvation without repentance. We must acknowledge that we have a nature, we often refer to as the flesh, that is against G-d. We must turn away from this nature. But that isn’t enough. On a television show recently, a man sits across from a police detective after confessing to murdering three people. The murderer says, “I’m really sorry. I really am!” Another man in the room says, “Your sorry. Okay, that makes it all right then. You can go now,” then turns away, shaking his head and walks out of the room.

We can come to know our sin, that we have a sin nature that is capable of all sorts of horrid things. We must understand this fact. And there is no payment we can make, except to forfeit our lives. We must die for our sins, those we committed and those we are capable of committing. Unless there is someone willing to take upon himself the penalty we owe.

That’s what Y’shuaJesus, Son of G-d, Son of Man, did for us. For it is through Y’shuaJesus that the penalty for our sin is paid in full. Thank You, Lord! G-d then seals us with His mark, and sees us as pure through His own Son’s action of dying for us.

Lord Bless, Keep, Shine upon you today and each day as we await the coming of the King to His reign. AMEN.