Many years ago I moved around a lot. I thought of myself as helping here and there as needed, but not staying too long in one place. I definitely didn’t let moss grow beneath my feet. I was justified Biblically, too: “The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” John 3:8. Perhaps my interpretation just satisfied my desire to travel, to wander. Those travels did allow me to serve GOD through a number of churches in the States as well as in a number of countries. I met wonderful people. I might have even been of some value to them. Some folks, with whom I connected in special ways, I stayed in contact with for a time. Eventually, however, I lost that connection.

Eventually, after wonderful experiences in West Africa, and getting married while there, I settled down somewhat. I say somewhat, as the itch to roam got to me in 2006. I went went over-the-road with Arrow Trucking out of Tulsa, OK. My Biblical justification is found in Luke 14:23: “Go out to the highways and hedges and compel people to come in, that my house may be filled.”

After leaving Arrow Trucking, I focused on raising two children, siblings adopted from overseas. While we attended a large church I got totally lost in the anonymity of it. I didn’t connect with anyone. I stayed somewhat obscure, aloof, writing devotional pieces for a ministry, eventually starting this blog. I made no real connections with people; I made no friends. Many acquaintances came and went, but no friends. I sloughed it off as to my being a loner, generally. I never really learned why this had happened. Until last year.

On March 5^th 2022, an anonymous comment posted to JonahzSong, provoked me to look hard at my life and my connections with people. The writer didn’t understand how I could call myself Wil, that that wasn’t my name. The writer said my middle name began with an “M.” The writer went on to say some vulgar, and physically impossible, things that I should do to myself. Eventually the writer acknowledged maybe my middle name is William, Wil for short. The writer said, “But how would I know, I was abandoned and forgotten.” It upset me, to say the least. I tried to find the person by tracing the ip address, as no email address was left in the comment. I wasn’t able find the person. I wondered if the person might have been mistaken. Yet it nagged at me. I wonder now if that commenter drops by once and awhile to see if there might be an acknowledgement of some sort. Not that it makes up for anything if I were able to say to the person that I am sorry. If I offended him or her, I regret it. I regret all offenses to anyone, especially to people who’d thought of me as their friend.

This past year I’ve given a lot of thought to the accusation of abandoning and forgetting people. I’ve not forgotten anyone; they’ve been often in my thoughts and prayers. At least I don’t think so. I’ve certainly lost track of most of those I’ve known, and have only a brief contact with others. On occasion, I’ve felt compelled to earnestly pray for a particular person, throughout the day, for multiple days even. I’ve often searched the internet for news of friends. I’ve felt the joy of seeing a news clipping, or articles in ministry newsletters. Yet I didn’t reach out to those I’d found. I didn’t know what to say after such a long a time. I’ve also felt the sadness when finding an obituary.

I’ve met a lot of people here and there in the course of my wanderings. I remember the names of many. Some I can picture in my mind’s eye, at least how they once appeared. Some are in photographs that I’ve taken. None are forgotten. There are a few people with whom I was close. We went different directions, parting on good terms, and for some, for a time, staying in touch. I’ve held hope that one day we’d reconnect, though mostly I didn’t try to do so.

There is one person with whom I was very close. We knew we were heading in different directions, though we thought it would only be for a short time. Just two people blown in the wind—sort of. Just before I was leaving we had a disagreement. I became angry. I left without saying good bye. I didn’t look back, either. She would not have been the person who commented on JonahzSong; she knew me as Wil. I was foolish. And, yes, I abandoned her. Some years later, my Dad forwarded me a letter she’d mailed to me in care of him. It was a nice note, though she didn’t understand my not at least saying good bye.

Paul wrote to the Ephesians to put off their old selves and “put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” Eph. 4:25-27. I failed to put aside my flesh. I failed to speak to her about my anger. I failed to provide an opportunity to be reconciled with her. I held the anger too close, too long. I walked away in abandonment. She didn’t deserve that. In the scheme of things, the disagreement was a foolish one, and I was in the wrong with no right to be angry. I can think of many excuses, but none excuses bad behavior, my bad behavior.

Pauls writings to GOD’s people are only a small part of GOD’s instructions to all humanity. There are so many lessons to learn within the Bible, if one pays attention. Learning them the hard way causes pain, to others, to me. I can’t make up for any of my sins against GOD or against His creation. What I can do, however, is offer a warning to folks to take great care in their connections with people. Be angry. Be honest. Settle it before the sun sets. Settle it before it’s too late.

May GOD watch over you
throughout the days of your life
in all the seasons of your life

LORD Bless, Keep, Shine. . .

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